What's your problem?

The comments are open for any questions you might want an answer to.

Unsolicited Advice

Don't feed the bears.

This woman might just be too stupid to live. She survived, but no thanks to her own thinking.

Featured Advice

I used CreditCardOlogy to find my soul mate and I still haven't received a a notification of *who* my soul mate is. Where have I gone wrong?


My Answer:

There is no earthly reason that this hasn't worked for you! Check your credit card. Is it yours? Is it stolen? Did you check your bill for hidden clues? Those random numbers should have long since paid off for you.

On the other hand, you could try leaving your house, stepping out into the sunlight and speaking to other human beings.

Obviously this method is riskier and less likely to succeed, but what the hell? Give it a try.

News advice

I understand that there are slow newsdays, but if you are going to start doing stories on people NOT dying, you may need to expand your entertainment section.

This just in...Tina Turner is STILL alive! Also, Bono is doing well.

Some Advice:

Know your limits.

Four wives are fine. Six is way too many.

Featured Advice

Dear cold canadian,

My mom says I am too young to date, but all my friends are allowed. How old should you be to date boys?


You should be old enough to be able to convince your mother that you are spending time at the library, and not one day sooner! How could you even think of making your mother worry like that?

Beauty advice

If you are of the "look good or die" camp, why not do both?

Featured Advice

I don't think you are all that qualified to give advice. Some of your advice seems bad. Dangerous even. Is this blog the best way to go for you?

My Answer:

Yes.

What's your problem?

Here's your chance, put it in the comments.

When NOT to take a risk

Knock knock

Who's there?

Not you...

Last Minute Advice

If you have been caught plagiarizing - not once or twice, or even three times - but multiple times, it is ill advised to claim that you don't know you are plagiarizing.

You are better off pretending that you don't understand what plagairizing means.

Featured Advice

I live with my sister while I am going to school. Her friends always come over and they won't SHUT UP. What is a polite way to tell them to be quiet without offending my sister?

My Answer:

Just say "no offense" first. It COMPLETELY indemnifies you. For example, you could say "No offense, sister, but your friends are tone deaf morons, and if I hear one more peep from even one of them, I will shove her severed head onto a pike on the balcony as a warning to others".

And she won't be mad, because you prefaced it with "no offense". No offense can be taken. It's golden. Trust me.

What's your problem?

This is the advice post. If you need advice, or have some advice you want to share, leave it in the comments.

Unsolicited Advice

Know when to shut your friggin mouth...

Good Advice

If a food is styled after a dog treat, don't fall for it.

It even looks unholy.

Unsolicited Advice

If your main exports are red meat and competetive dominance, make sure you know your audience.

Featured Problem:

Boyfriends that have an ex that is considered "baggage", she wont just PISS OFF!!!


My Answer:

The best revenge is a life lived well.

The second best revenge is blackmail.

Good luck.

Does anyone else have any better advice?

What's your problem?

Put your biggest problems in the comments...

Unsolicited Advice

When debating someone who disagrees with you, even when you believe they are wrong, try to stay on point...

Featured Advice

Dear Cold Canadian,
I have been invited to this party: Party in Sweden's Pants
should I go?

My Answer:

Hell ya! What could possibly go wrong?

Unsolicited Advice

Before you doodle on your school desk, you should figure out what might be worse than detention.

She's lucky. In Canada she would have been shot.

Featured Problem:

How much jam is too much jam?

My Answer:

When it becomes an issue socially, it's too much jam. Until then, it is just right.

Feature Problem:

So my dogs keep humping each other and they are sisters. Is this normal?

My Answer:

Who are we to judge? As long as they have had all their shots and you have sat down with them and had "the talk", I don't know that this is your choice to make. Sometimes you just have to let dogs be inbred, lesbian dogs.

Any other advice from the cheap seats? Add it to the comments...

Need Advice?

Leave any questions you need answers for in the comments. If your question is great, I might just set it up as my feature problem, and everyone can share their advice for you.

Because, man...then you've got problems.

And it begins...

What is the worst piece of advice you have ever recieved? Did you ever recover?

I can honestly say that the most common piece of advice that has led me astray over the years involves some variation of the "Try it. What can it hurt?" line of thinking. I have thrown up, been hospitalized, been badly hurt, and woke up with regrets more times than I can count with this type of advice.

Also included in this genre of thinking is "Have you got something better to do?", "That would make an interesting story to tell your kids" and the ever popular "C'mon....C'mon!!!".

What have you got?